Two Qualities to Look for in a Romantic Partner


There are tons of appealing qualities to look for in the people you’re dating. But two keep standing out to me as essential: kindness and curiosity.

These aren’t at the top of most people’s wish list. They tend to get outshone by flashier traits, such as “hotness” (whatever that means). Especially for straight women, unpredictability and even a sense of danger can be enthralling.

But kindness is where it’s at. Observe your date’s behavior. How do they treat the bartender, the person making coffee, the police officer who pulls them over for speeding? Is there an innate respect and gentleness there? Or do they get pissy and whiny?

Curiosity is also beautiful. Does your date ask you questions? Do they follow up and remember your answers later? If you ask them something, do they reflect before answering? Can you see them thinking?

Curiosity can take many forms. It can be intellectual, emotional, sexual, or a range of other things.

But beware the lack of it. Steer clear of people who don’t want to expand what they know about the world.

Curiosity and kindness. Keep your eyes open for them. They’re signs of someone who’s worth your while.

What other qualities do you look for in a romantic partner?

2 thoughts on “Two Qualities to Look for in a Romantic Partner

  1. Those are great ones! I second the kindness. But for me first is a good sense of humor. Humor is big for me personally. I love to laugh and joke around, so my friends and partner that I surround myself with are also funny and get my jokes.

    • Humor is definitely key for me as well! It overlaps with curiosity because you have to have a lively mind to be curious, as well as to have a sense of humor. Humor and mischief are essential ingredients in a relationship, for sure.

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